Speak Growth

Spring Cleaning: Check Your Circle

Hello, and welcome to week three in the Spring-Cleaning series! April is a month for renewing, resurrecting and spring cleaning your home, so why not do the same with our emotions and mental well-being? We have checked in on our goals, got out of our feelings, and this week we’re going to check our circle.

Do you have a circle? If you have family, a job, a place of worship or friends then you do. Circles can be wonderful. Within them, you accomplish many firsts. First loves, friendships, epiphanies and heartbreaks all happen within your circles. Usually, there is more joy than pain within the circle, but sometimes, that’s not the case.

Here’s a few of the people you should take steps to remove from your circle:

Miserable Mavis:

These are the people who are just plain miserable for no reason. And because they’re miserable, they want you to be too. They always find a way to dampen your good news. If you have a strong, solid idea they find a flaw. If you got a new outfit or your hair done, they complain about the price, as if they paid for it. Once upon a time they weren’t a complaining, miserable shell with a permanent cloud over their head. They let another Miserable Mavis infect them, but unlike you, they didn’t cut them out of their lives. The best way to stop the misery from infecting you is to start with not sharing your ideas or good news. Keep conversations as surface level as possible if you’re unable to cut this person completely for your life.

Bitter Brenda:

These are people who are angry and miserable. There is often an underlying hurt, but that isn’t your cross to bear. Bitter Brenda loves hearing good news and tearing it down with angry, blanket statements. Sometimes the statements don’t make a lick of sense, but Bitter Brenda latches onto the tiniest scrap of doubt you may have and magnifies it. This person plants an earworm you have trouble shaking. Your partner gives you a gift out of the blue? They’re cheating. You get a promotion or recognition? Well that’s because you’re the only one available, so they don’t have anyone to compare to. You get the idea. The best way to deal with Bitter Brenda is to drop them like they’re on fire. Immediately.

Vampire Viv:

They are energy sucking parasites. Just one conversation with them and you are more tired, both physically and mentally, than with the previous two combined. Vampire Viv is high maintenance. They require constant nurturing and reassurance, but rarely do the same for you. Love this type at a distance. Plan to only have a few minutes to talk to them because you have something important to do. Even if you have nothing to do, they don’t need to know that. Guard your time with them like your soul depends on it.

Competitive Connie:

Everything you say or do is a competition to these people. EVERYTHING. If you have a pain, they have one worse. When your child wins an award, theirs won two. If you’re doing well at work, they practically own the company. My ex-husband was like this, especially during my pregnancies. It was annoying. Stop talking to these people. They are not going to change. They will one up you at every opportunity, and who has time for that?

Your circle should be a supportive, positive group of people. Yes, they will have off days and that’s fine. We all do. However, bad days shouldn’t turn into accepted habits. That is to your detriment. It doesn’t matter if it’s family or friend. In the case of work that’s a little tricky, There’s no rule that says you have to befriend folks at your job. No matter who it is, make your decision based on the pattern of behavior and trust your instincts. If issues can’t be resolved and the relationship doesn’t seem to benefit either of you then let it go.

Caveat

I chose random names for their rhyming only. No offense intended to anyone with those names.

That’s going to be it for this week my dears. If you celebrate it, have a happy Easter. If you don’t, enjoy your weekend. Be sure to comment and share, and if you want to work with me, hit me up here. Love and light!

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